A precise method wrapped in playful instructions — serious results, silly vibes.

Tools

• Big cutting board

• Sharp, confident chef’s knife

• Clean kitchen towel for no-slip stability

• Meal-prep containers with lids

• Optional espresso for the pit crew (you)

Step-by-Step (Drum → Slab → Stick → Grid)

1. Halve it like you mean it.
   Stand the melon upright and slice straight down the middle.

2. Create a flat base.
   Place one half cut-side down. Stable melon = happy fingers.

3. Shave the rind.
   Slice panels top-to-bottom, following the curve, until the white is gone.

4. Admire the red drum.
   A smooth cylinder of glory. Victory sip optional.

5. Slice into slabs.
   Cut even 1-inch slices.

6. Stack and make sticks.
   Stack a couple of slabs and cut parallel strips to make sticks.

7. Turn and grid.
   Rotate 90° and cut again to form perfect cubes.

8. Repeat with the second half.
   Shave → Slab → Stick → Grid.

9. Box the treasure.
   Fill containers to the top, lids on.

10. Chill out.
    Cold cubes = snappy cubes.

Serious Pro Tips (that still make us smile)

• Towel under the melon = chef, not chaos.

• Use long, confident strokes (don’t saw).

• Seed encounter protocol: flick and proceed.

• Storage: 3–5 days sealed & cold; freeze cubes for smoothies.

Common Mistakes

• Cutting a rolling melon — make a flat base first.

• Leaving the white layer — tastes like a water-flavored eraser.

• Overfilling containers — leave a tiny headspace.